Welcome to the "No Phone Zone". Let's talk about cell phones and kids! Oh boy, where should I begin? As I mentioned in my introductory blog post, I have two boys who are both unique in their own ways.
My oldest son, Jayden, received a phone in the 8th grade. We initially opted for a Gabb phone, a device designed for kids that effectively kept him away from social media and the data-driven distractions that are prevalent nowadays. This helped him stay more in touch with the real world, rather than getting consumed by social media and other online activities. Jayden eventually upgraded to a phone with data access and app capabilities in his junior year, and since then, he has not violated the cell phone rules that his dad and I established.
My youngest, Jamison, has entered the tumultuous middle school years, akin to being at the peak of a roller coaster ride. Instead of raising my hands in excitement, I find myself holding on tight, screaming, eager to disembark. Jamison, once an easy child, has now become the most challenging. Transitioning into middle school, he lost his sense of self to the allure of the phone. Like Jayden, he started using a Gabb phone, but at 6th grade instead of 8th, a decision I regret deeply. Jamison began exchanging numbers with everyone at school, initially innocently to socialize, but it soon became overwhelming. Group chats emerged where boys and girls discussed topics we strive to shield our children from. The language used was shocking, making me want to shield my eyes or blur out the words displayed so prominently. I was appalled. Jamison abused his phone, leading to issues at home. He and his friends even planned to sneak out while we parents were asleep, with Jamison dismissing it as inconsequential when caught, despite the late hours and inherent dangers. The parents were present but trusted our children to make responsible choices after guidance, yet this trust was misplaced in this instance. Taking away Jamison's phone proved to be the best decision. While some middle schoolers may handle having a phone maturely, it is not a necessity. We, children of the 80s and 90s, thrived without constant access to phones. I have no intention of returning Jamison's phone. It has been the most beneficial choice I've made. He is now more engaged with his family and rediscovering the joys he once cherished, free from the drama the phone brought into his life.
Using a cell phone is not inherently negative, and the majority of people do not misuse it. Each of us has our own perspectives on phone use, and as parents, we consistently prioritize our children's well-being. The boys' school has recently introduced a cell phone-free zone this year, which has proven to be beneficial. While it may take some adjustment not to hear from your child during their lunch break, it's important to remember that they are at school to learn and socialize with others. If they need to reach us, they can always go to the school office to use the phone. It's wonderful to pick them up from school and hear all about their day, rather than having their attention divided by a phone in the car when asking, "How was school today?" Drawing from my own experiences and the shared story, I believe it's best to avoid giving an elementary or middle school student a cell phone unless absolutely necessary. There are various ways to ensure our children's safety, and if a cell phone is indeed required, I recommend considering Gabb phones. For more information on them, please feel free to contact me via email, and I'll be happy to provide you with the details.
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